Now l know why the crazy go crazy

l have heard this sound before, for a moment my nostrils failed to take in oxygen and l froze in motion. I knew what this meant. It could never be good. Many times before l avoided it and finally gave in and each time l felt a piece of my hope flashed away.
Who can understand the war happening inside of me, is there even anyone out there trying to figure it out with me ? but even if they wanted to l am not that transparent.

 

So it was said repetitive times, countless times l said it out loud that l don't care but honestly l care, maybe cause of all the mystery that lie there for me to discover in a distant time, it will come as a surprise but l know l will say to myself "l knew this".

l look at the reflection of this figure standing opposite a crystal clear glass, l don't see it there in a future that seem completely planned and sealed for it. l know the melody of those palpating beats, my hands are sweating,  my eyes are growing weary, can l cry? l want to cry, but no tears comes out. The knees gave in but the heart dared to hope something wonderful still existed in a thorn. How do l say its beautiful when it has prinked my finger, now my lips stand to suck the drop of blood rushing for a little freedom. I wonder which one is better between a rock  and a hard place.

Sometimes there can be many choices but none of those choices are able to work except the forbidden choice. They have said it...there is always a choice. If l choose not to listen to this sound l stand to lose the future that could be better than what l envisioned for myself but if l listen l choose to lose the present that has everything that leaves me content. Is there anything like living between a future and another future.

Why does it happen to me? why does the sound keep choosing my ears to hear it or is it my mind that has a sound track that sounds like the sound l think l know? now l know why the crazy go crazy.
Like the other day l walked up to her, standing by street lamp, l smiled and said can you hear that? she looked at me astonished and asked "what exactly am l supposed to hear again?" l walked away, now seriously my world was spinning on me, who cannot hear such sounds. l see the fairyflies in the breeze of the scorching sun of the kgalagadi desert, l see them in all its colours maybe because l believe that in every place even that which seems dead there is something beautiful to be admired.

l found  the other one crippled, sitting on her wheelchair,  said to her your soul is wet with tears that have no end, you wish to walk, feel the blood rushing through your veins but the world you in and everyone near you believe miracles don't happen, in the end you also have begun to believe your wish is impossible, feel guilty for your greatest desire but don't you worry cause  everyday has a miracle of its own,  yours is on the way. She turned around and a tear rolled on her face because she didn't think it was so obvious for the world to see beyond the face she gives. I walked away and heard her scream behind me "you surely must be crazy".

 

How do these people not hear the sound? why do they decide just to look the other way that leads nowhere when there is a way that leads to everything they need, so l looked at my toes , barefeet on the sandy soil and said the miles you have walked, the sound only got louder, maybe your toes just want to keep going.

          l am the sound that heals,
          the sound that lives,
          the spirit that sees the undefined,
           they have shut me out,
            the magnetic force l am , they feared,
           said l exist to make them weird,
           yet l exist to keep them alive..

            l am the holder of miracles,
            they secretly hope for me
            yet they are ashamed to admit
            l am here able for them.
            Who made you think l do not
             hear the thoughts of your heart,
             mind and soul.
             l hold on only cause hope tells me
             without me it lives no more.

             They are crazy, claimed insane
              only cause the world  misunderstands   their dimension,
               Mistrust their language,
               finds injustice in their thoughts.
               I am the sound that lives free in the      

mad for they recognise my existance,

     accepts my will and fill their purpose in a

     world that defines them aliens.

Now l know why the crazy go crazy….