Listen and Follow your Instincts. Intuition is Key.

Intuition is key, you better listen up when it speaks. You could possibly miss its voice because its so low but it always pulls all the stops to appear.
Once in your life you have come across a little crossroad between doing what you thought was right and what you felt was right, you did what you thought and it turned out bad then you say to yourself "l should have listened to my instinct".

Its a bit complicated following your intuition because it always comes as a huge Maybe. Its never definite until you take it seriously and acknowledge its voice. Many people have escaped bad harm because their instinct warned them while others were ignorant and felt the sting.

Yesterday while l was at a salon, a guy passing by called out to one of the hairdressers informing him of a little vision he had about him and when the hairdresser came back inside , he said "l am so afraid of dreams and visions because they change your life, once you begin to notice them they take over your life but if you ignore them its also a danger you bring to yourself because they are the doors to the world of awareness awake in you to keep you off no harm". I figured that our instincts work differently in all of us.

Regrets are useless and bring nothing but a waste of time. You weep over something that you can no longer change. Its better to follow your instinct, appear a fool to others but still be where you are meant to be.

When you want to see that a woman's instinct is at work, see her when she has a hunch that her man is cheating.  Without evidence,  just a little hunch in her emotion is all she needs to investigate the matter of this kind and she always finds out the truth. Friends will be asking but how do you know and she goes like l can’t explain it but l just got this feeling.

Intuition is the fastest built-in protection any human being can have. If you don’t have it then you are as good as dead.  It is a classic that if you don't know what to do then best follow your heart cause it will never mislead you. At times we must trust our own feelings to certain things and just do it because life itself is a continuous risk ride. Listen and Follow your intuition.

I am glad you never took any of my love.

I used to want you to love me back so much, wished l could hear you say l am all you been longing for,  instead l just found silence behind my "l love you's".
I thought then l wasn't enough for you, not the kind of a person you will want to see forever with but now l realize it was you who never was enough for me,
it was you who never fitted my criteria but l just had faith in the glimpse of a better man you could be.

They used to say l could do best but l stuck by you. I saw the world in a better position by you then l wondered why does my love appear so desperately-made.
l had tons of dreams about you, you ridiculed me silly every time l told you,  unaware that those were the warning tokens from heaven that you of all mankind lest  deserved me. They drew me closer to you even when they meant to cut down the cord between me and you.

l let many righteousness men pass by all because l was honouring the message in the dream,  the heart that rarely shifted every time my mind reminded it there was nothing to wait for. You never took time to know the devine soul this skin is covering yet l don't blame you as many wise men have indeed lost zillion diamonds while holding them in their arms but mistaken them for rocks.
Only now when l look at everything from a distance do l realize that l frightened you, the fact that you could not understand the type of a person l am, that even your powerful presence felt weak around me as l rarely allowed you to have your way without explanations.

Many nights l found myself praying about you, praying for you, praying that l could understand this connection between us then l saw you walk right away leaving me while on my knees. You should have told me l was saying empty prayers for l am sure my words could have healed one soul right now. I felt you were a part of me but l was wrong because you still need to find God and yourself. The world you live in is full of delusions, one day you will cry with none to hand you a shoulder to lean on. l am not wishing you darkness but l am glad l don't have to deal with you in my life.

Was l stupid to text you all the time only to have you reply after hours, deliberately telling me off but l kept making up excuses to why you can't really text me back but hey when you love someone you just got to make time, so now l see love was never part of this between you and l.

You see all that you mean to me today does not make sense to you right now because you got your head wrapped around your world but the day you get to look at it through a magnifying glass the centre of it all will be misplaced.
Don't come looking for me even if love has forced its way through you because l know you do not in the lest deserve my attention, my prayers, my hope, my dreams, even my kindness.

The mercies of love has drawn me to an overflowing river that has surrounded me with all l need, this one has transforming dreams that has clearly cleared the vision ahead. l am glad you never took any of my love.

 

Procrastination is the killer of dreams.

How many of us have let opportunities slip off our hands only because we were just lazy to stand and do something about it?? we have delayed,  laid and at the end remained with no aid only because we kept telling ourselves l will do it tomorrow.

 

Unfortunately tomorrow does not come with guaranteed tag on , infact it's always a surprise that it arrives and you get to taste it. But some dreams just can't wait, you snooze they walk right up and never look back. The wise would say time waits for no man and yes that ticking clock strikes a new second each time and never entirely the same, once it had passed, it's gone.

 

What are your dreams so precious that you can not pull yourself up to keep them hatched in time? are you aware that your delay will let them rot away as age goes up and you no longer have the intuition to make them a success. How many have died premature already because you lost focus and cast them to the wind.

 

Surround yourself with the wise so that you may be wise too, so that you may strive to be wise. Paulo Coelho says when you want something with all your might, the universe conspires with you to give it to you, now why would it be impossible for your dreams to be visibly possible?

 

Each individual on this planet earth is born with a talent which is unique in its own capacity but how far that talent takes you it is up to the beholder. It is entirely up to you weather you make it or it breaks you. Have you ever come across a talent that is peeping out through cracked spaces, loudly whispering usher me out to the open space and let me direct my destiny and once you listen it already pushes its way out.

 

We procrastinate way too much that we don't notice the dreams that die, the talent that are unnoticed. Lets live the dreams today and enjoy the fruits tomorrow.

Be careful what you brag about

l am just a girl standing on the sidewalks,
waiting for my car to arrive.
I am found in a sound of a V8 engine,
minding my own double exhaust roar.
Moving on the gear of one to five.
l am really the centre of attention, 
l spin the world around.
My feet a magnet to the ground.
Cars pass by,
women picking up unnecessary battle
with where the eyes of their men leads to.
But l am just a girl, standing on the sidewalks waiting for my car to arrive and when l say my car l mean none than
that got my name to it.

Girlfriends got a tendency of acting up as If they own their boyfriends , especially his car. Sometimes us ladies don't realize how pathetic being obsessive, nagging and possessive is. Just because a guy claims you are now his lady it does not mean now you own him, he looks where you lets him, do what you want him to and hook up with who you wish him to hook up with. Nonetheless all that insecurity is what will exactly drive him straight into another woman's open arms, best believe someone out there is stretching their arms wide open for your man waiting for a time you mess up so she could be there for him acting all better than you. It is true what they say "no matter how beautiful a girl is someone out there is just tired of her crap ", don't be that girl driving a man away then want to bitch-slap another girl on the street claiming she stole your man. Quiet frankly,  men can't be stolen, something between you two left an open vacancy that let another girl place herself in to fill it up. People fail to own up to their mistakes instant they constantly blame other people.

Girls be out here pulling each other down for a guy that don't even notice the incredible girl he's dating. Stop posing in his car, work hard and get your own. There is something powerful about a lady that wants a man but does not need him yet she still respect the fact that she must let him be a man. Some ladies will ridicule a woman like me who prefer getting her own and handling her bills by saying we can't keep a man while infact it's some men who can't handle a woman that knows what she wants and how.  If you honestly want something in life never take shortcuts.

So girl look at me once,  twice and thrice on the rear mirror while you all pass me by in your boyfriend's car. The pearls of wisdom teaches that whatever comes easy goes easy. In all due respect l am not saying don’t brag being in your man’s car but respect yourself enough to brag about things that are credible and don’t be nasty to johnny walkers, after all these two feet that got blood flowing through them are a definite blessing of mobility from above.

Girlfriends , any man that walks into your life can just as much walk out. Sometimes the sexy bunch, cute face , hot abs , got no brain can't make your happy,  leave that man and be with a baboon, presentable, nerdy geek who can keep up a conversation and make you happy, any gorgeous lady can compliments and polish any sort of a  man. okay okay, am not up here trying to place myself a perfect girl but am saying l know my mistakes, weaknesses and am not hiding behind a flower hoping l won't need to face up to them all, some things such as this just need to be said. There was some smoke in the air and l was just clearing it out, after all l am just a girl standing on the sidewalks.

 

Season of despair.

Have you ever passed through a season of despair? Where you have tried it all but nothing seems to work. You look at everyone next to you and they all seem to be moving but you stuck to the same ground you been in for years.

You begin to evaluate your faith, how often you pray and still find no concrete answer to why you are in such a hole with no one to pull you up.  It is hard, isn’t it? It is hard to be yourself with the whole world trying to project themselves into you. If you pleased them, then you are not happy. It is never a win, win situation.

I woke up in the middle of the night, made a cup of coffee with lots of milk, opened my window curtains and glanced outside to the sky. I saw so many beautiful stars and then it just hit me like a lightning, how beautiful stars come to own the sky at night.  A star may be created a star but it can never shine before the day is gone and the sky is in its perfect form to let its shine show. When the time is right it lets all its colours shine flawless. Now, it made me think why can’t l have patience like a star and wait for my sky to be perfect, because just like every zillion stars have their time so do l have my time and so do you.

We always feel the rush that time is working against us, that oh am 28 and l still don’t have a great relationship, l still don’t have a child, l don’t have a stable job, gosh l have ultimately failed but who told you when will you get certain things . You and l must stop deceiving ourselves, we may be alive but we do not control our lives, certainly not our future.

So l learned, among all things patience is important. Season of despair always comes knocking and when it knocks you shall feel it one way or the other. Many things in your life will not happen when you want them to and that’s just the way it is, if you try tempt with nature it naturally just destroys you and leave you with visible scars so you be reminded.

The story of our lives are written by God, we are mere actors doing our parts on his stage, now you can’t take a bow of appreciation in the middle of a play just cause the lines confuse you, you better stick it out till the final roll call. There are many seasons across your life time but the one of despair pulls out a mirror and forces you to look at a harsh reflection of yourself, count the scars, understand why they are there and most importantly leaves you grateful despair ever came.

I was a collection of a pair

Till destiny came, now am left tiny

In despair.

Four seas_on me,

Mercy has rewrote my season.

 

 

Never say "Never"

If before this minute you have not put your feet into my shoes, walked a mile the path l have crossed then its best you don’t judge me because you have heard about me but you know nothing about my journey.

It is always easy to say “l will never do that” when you are not in a situation that drove the other person to do the exact thing. Many ladies would say “me l would never be a prostitute regardless of how stranded l am” yet when you date a man his financial status is off great importance and is on top of the list of  your “Potential man characteristics” , believe it or not the moment you have sex with a man and he uses his money to buy you this and that on a regular, when you need money he immediately sends it then that is a transactional sex, you give him your body to do whatever  in return he gives you all materialistic things you want,  you have it easy cause you do not need to wear skimpy clothes and stand the street corners but none the less you are doing exactly what that woman at the street corner is doing. Be careful of being too focused trying to remove a stain from someone’s eye when you yourself have thousand stains on your eye.

We forever say nobody is perfect but none of us is willing to accept another person’s imperfection yet we expect our own imperfections to be accepted and understood. A man would say “l will never have an affair when married” but he does not know how it feels like being married, it is said women change after marriage, the passion no longer feels the same and that beautiful woman that was once open minded, understanding and adventurous and now dealing with too many responsibilities and less time to consider that life could actually be just fine if she just calmed down and had little fun. A man begins to see the “her that she used to be before marriage in another woman”. Well l will never understand truly what makes married men cheat but l just made a possible example that’s highly my assumption. I am saying never say never.

Every situation we are in is just simply temporary. You could say l will never be in prison yet next thing you accidentally hit someone on the road, they die and you are then charged with charges of murder or you could be in a taxi and it gets involved in an accident, next thing through the whole commotion someone’s blood spills on your open wound, not knowing that the very same person is HIV positive next thing you are left with a new status. Situations change within a second hence it is said the bad don’t last forever neither does the happiness.

The battle we fight might be the same but the battlefield will be different for all of us. Don’t compare my story to yours cause they will never measure up to each other neither will you understand the steps l take if you never heard the call l got.  Never say “Never”

The little things women need from a man

We are not entirely saying drop the playstation and throw the remote control  away so we look into each other’s eyes and be all romantic but we are saying include us.

One of the greatest challenge in love is wanting to be part of someone’s life, especially the person you love and have him shut you out. We barely ask for much but the little things that men miss. I am not saying tell me you love me all the time,  but that one time you do , make it count. Let everything you do tell me you care. Infact if you said “l love you” all the time it will eventually lose its value.  Don’t say something to me because you figure it is something l would love to hear but tell me something because it Is real for you too.

You don’t have to call me the whole day but communicate with me once a day, let me know that l pass through your mind at least once and that’s enough to tell me l am part of your present and future. I understand that you are not like us women, you can’t focus on two things at once.  We know how crucial it is spending time with your boys and we are not saying don’t,  but we can’t compete with your boys for your attention, it is you who want me in your life, if you want me to play a certain role then give me what is due to me, give me my time in your time. If you can’t let your boys know that l am your girl then you have no right to make me believe l am.

If you do not treat her right, another man is willing to take your part but she’s sticking with you cause you make her heart beat in a way no other man does but that don’t mean she won’t leave if she feels unloved.

Not all women rock up into your life to spend your money, most women just want to spend your time, she wants you to have time to listen when she wants to talk even if she could be repeating herself thousand times, make time to play with her not just be intimate but take her for a walk, throw her the joystick and let you two have a turn with the playstation, let her know what’s happening in your life and not make her feel she needs to question you all time for you to talk to her. Basically be the Man.

If you not ready to show her off, take her off the pedestal. Lastly, any woman needs a man that will accept her as she is and not try to understand her, if you are on that course as a man then unfortunately you will never get your master certificate. Someone once said  a woman is like a car, take care of her, be gentle and rough but never exceed the limit and when with her be focused otherwise your life would be a nightmare. 

The list continues of the little things women needs…I just touched base.

 

 

It is never the right time to say Good bye...BUT in your good time to walk away.

Ever said good bye , took few steps away and wished that the person you walking away from  can tell you to stop? That they don’t want you to walk away but on the opposite they just keep quiet. The immediate shut down of a heart that has now temporarily lost its place in your body, you feel it beating in your throat, fighting against your tears that they do not show the disappointment in your heart.

It is never the right time to say good bye but it is within your good time that you walk away from all things that rob you of your happiness, that take you for granted. Life never said tomorrow l will still be here for you to correct today’s mistake but it says today is all you have of me. When you believe in the people you love, walking away is the hardest thing because somehow you have come to understand the bond and have hope that forever is possible.

People that find it hard to walk away are the ones that from day one have gave in their all, did all that was in them to keep it alive and yet knows that even if you can ride a horse to the river, you cannot make it drink that water even if you wished your life away. Life goes on, people move on because hearts change, what drives us apart can be the exact thing that pulls us together today.  I have seen people stay, holding on to memories of what used to be that no longer exist and someone who shows no interest in putting in effort to make it be alive.

The believe that once you walk away there’s nothing better for you is a lie. There is always something better, hence it is said Happiness is a choice, you must want it enough to keep it when it arrives. To honour, respect and love yourself most is the beginning of happiness then all things follow. When you walk away is a sign of courage to the person that you are, to the love you deserve, for the life you still have that awaits to be fulfilled with stories that incites excitement and passion of life.

The reason l love being your GIRL

I would have never imagined that me and you would mean what we do to each other. You were just never an option until l choose to give you a chance to see the you that you are.

l am just a girl that always needed love and affection, yours came in its purest form, sweet in its own way and always caught me off guard. l love being your girl because when you are with me, you are there with the whole of you. You smile and l feel the knot down in my heart and the greatest shades in me that l actually am happiest with you.

Being your girl is the cutest piece of a diamond. l adore the fact that you treat me like a Queen, that sometimes you think am too worthy to be with someone like you but in all honesty , you are more than worthy. The fact that you barely say much doesn't frighten me because your actions are most loud.Just the way you look at me makes me feel priceless.

 

I remember the stolen kisses that gave you power to move up and down my mind for hours before l could really find a way to stop thinking about you, even more those unexpected midnight drives  when you took me out for Ice Cream. It is the little things you do that got my heart in the palm of your hands. l used to think l could not love as much but now l do and even more.

When am with you , there is no other world that exist, you are just my world. When l see you walk by l hear my heart say "that's my baby" . All colours of the rainbow fully explain reasons why l love being your girl. ♥♡♥

Being your GIRL is simply amazing

.

The song l sang.

I sang one song, over and over again. When l saw that you are online my body shivers, honestly because all l hear in my head when l text you is your voice. I found myself debating it in my head weather to call or not, would it appear obsessive if l called once too often or text you first. Such a strange battle because the heart always felt it was right and the mind considered reality and all its facts. Emotions versus facts.

I felt myself explode, in a way l knew l had to tell someone but who do l tell? If l told my mom she would want to know how it all begun and l really just want someone to shut up and listen. If l told my friend she will tell me l need to let go and move on, she will never tell me but l know she is sick and tired of seeing me spinning in a wheel and not going anywhere.

It was clear right from the start that l should not love you. I avoided all signs that were visible that maybe my heart has already taken the knock, l refused to believe it but later it came and caused a tornado in my life. I don’t think l have ever understood what love really is before l met you. We barely talk, in fact we never talk, l am content because somewhere deep in my heart l understand why you are so silent. Yet how do l know you love me, your actions are too distant from me or am l lost in an illusion. The problem is there is no longer a difference between my reality and my dreams, they are all the same thing, you just seem to be everywhere.

Could l at least scream at you and beg you to say you wish you never met me because sometimes l feel everything would have been better if we never crossed path. I always say nothing is a coincidence, everything happens for a reason but what could be the reason for you, here in me, with me, every day , all the time with me? Do you even have the slightest idea the pain you have caused already in my life. Three years down the line l am still bind to that question mark that needs an answer. Curiosity doesn’t only kill cats, l will soon go down as a statistic that got murdered by it.

It was in a coffee shop by the fountain where we met, you told me my eyes where charcoal grey and you had no idea how your chestnut brown eyes did to my heart rate. You looked at me behind your sunglasses and so did l, stolen looks where just too sweet.  Every time you smiled my way l wondered if you understood just how l wouldn’t mind looking at that smile every day for many days of my life. The sound of your giggles was like a song in my head, a song l sang over and over again.

Memories are too alive.

Days when l could use more sunshine,
memories are too alive.
They said your strongest weapon is your mind
but my weakest link is my heart.
Veins that pulsate in conversation,
how can l forget vintage verses,
in reversible motion they seemed duplicated in my skull.
I wanted to spin and tell my toes
the ground it stands on is a battlefield of memories,
packed in dungeons of seasons.
Soldier armed with words,
sharpened by raw emotion,
oceans of hope,
I know l carry the future
because l am pregnant with words.

I swallow hard the curves in my bold voice,
but really all l want is to remain real.
memories like your own shadow
always there, holding a powerful reminder stick.
Even after death someone will remember you,
me and you locked in the chains of memories.
I saw how ignorance of memories left many lost,
well a heart that no longer knew its belonging,
misplaced in a routine of self deception
but really memories are too alive,
hold them tight like your perfect soulmate,
let it live its time,
one day you will turn into it
just a simple memory.

If you ever walk way.

If you ever walk away from me,

I will know it has nothing to do with me

But all about you.

Yes, l give love,

Love so rich it can’t be insufficient,

Yes l am there for you for as long as l breath,

For when l die, my heart will no longer feel a thing.

 

Love is the one thing l know how to give right,

Write my name down a silver platter

For today you are the silver star in my sky,

If you ever asked me to bring you down,

Don’t ever say l never let you shine,

Because l gave you my world,  the only place l could entirely be

Black and naked with afro hair.

 

I am the natural fountain of love,

If you ever run thirsty never say l ran dry,

My love is too flowing to ever be inconsistent,

I will blame your heart if it never understood

The beauty of my heart,

Especially since it’s all you have taken from me from the first glance.

If you ever walked away, walk away with all the memories

Because my love is too heavy to be honoured by tears.

If you ever walk away, walk away with all the promises

That walked you in.

My love is too important to be short lived,

Yet if you must walk, walk with none of my regrets

Because my love is too special to ever be a mistake.