Gravel Road

I decided to take a walk down the road...gravel road for that matter. I suppose for that specific evening the rawness of the sand spoke to me in languages l could understand.  The sun was just sinking in nicely behind the mountains, cool breeze blowing over and me, my mind in utter silence.  I wanted to take a walk to reflect life silently on the trees, to look at stones and see if maybe they held nothing for me but as usual they just existed bare, no one knows why they exist but l believe they are playing a huge role in the universe.

Three birds flew above my head, l observed them with complete admiration of how liberated they seem, happy and bloosoming with sounds, even though l wondered if they were truly happy or just routinely following their daily purposes of existance. At this moment in time l am drawn to nature, aware of what is around me that even the soil seem to have a certain aroma or maybe l was losing it a bit....nature's dizzy spells. Everything in the universe is positioned in such a way that it fulfills a certain role, completes a bigger picture. Sometimes we overlook the little things that surrounds us which without we will feel crippled,  am not talking about material things.  Imagine how impossible it is to live without water or how freezing to death the universe will be without the sun.  Do you even notice a tree that has been there by your house or on your way to work , it might have taken years and years for it to grow and be what you see today. Through my walk l learned one big thing, everything in life for it to perfectly exist it lives through patience. Nobody owns time, time own us, we play by its rules even though we always have the delusion that we have it all under our control.

I continued to walk, eyes on the road, in an odd way l felt safe even though l was  conscious that if l was to be in danger no one would come to my rescue.
A man came out of nowhere,  well l say out of nowhere because l wasn't aware someone was walking behind me. It startled me a bit. I just heard him say "its beautiful isn't it? " I asked what exactly and he said "everything which you are now the centre piece to, this road you walking on, wind blowing against you, the sky bending over on you, the tree leaves  swinging in all directions, you complete something by walking here." In astonishment l said "oh". Oh because when one takes time to walk alone it automatically says to people you are lonely, stressed and drawn back nobody thinks maybe this person is at their happy place, calm, centred and at peace. Here l am walking with a stranger who sees the reflection of serenity l have just come across. He asks me why l decided to walk here, abandoned road, nobody just walks a gravel road for fun...l look at him for  a minute trying to weigh between the truth and brushing off type of an answer, I opted for honesty. "Well l needed to reflect, take some time out and just be silently at peace with myself" l said. He just smiled and said "remember the greatest prison is not the physical bars that can capture a men in a square metres but its the spiritual prison. Enjoy your walk and be careful,  the world no longer knows what care is". I nodded and watched as he rushed off, weird how random people we meet can basically say things to us we remember for the rest of our lives.

That basically took me home, wisdom though, it just doesn't come easily. I began thinking of how much the thought that without money life can't be all we've dreamed off,  we literally take making money as a priority we eventually end up not living what we dreamed of but rather better than how someone is, buying things that are claimed better than what the other have, at the end they all just create a void, a void that requires to be feed more of those stuff. Our mental prison bars kill us, we become empty vessels covered in riches, more lonely and empty but cause the world no longer knows what care is, nobody cares about that. Lately even people won't ask "how are you?" They just assume if your appear presentable that question is unnecessary.
Time does not wait for you to be rich so you be perfectly placed in the right position, just as you are right now , your state is a correct fitting to a measurement unknown to you. Happiness, love, joy, must not be dependant on anything or anyone besides yourself. You are a force, a centre piece that gives meaning to everything that is within your reach.
The purest gift you can give to yourself is inner peace.  The noises never come to a halt neither does spiritual internal wars one has on a daily yet you owe it to yourself to keep the peace inside alive least you rage out and destroy a perfect universal placement. A stranger can easily understand you than those that are close to you cause they don't know your weakness, they are open minded to what you could be and who you ought to be, all you stand for is inviting to their curiosity. I could have easily told this man to leave me alone but he spoke my language at my level , it felt right to converse with him but again its the fact that his role for this specific evening he played and left, when he was done he wasted no more time but walked away. Note to self : Be brave to walk away when you have fulfilled what you came to do. How the world behaves after you have done your part is not your business. I continued to walk now completely out of calmness, my mind thinking of so many things but specifically this gravel road...its not smooth yet l have been walking as if there were cotton cushions on the ground, why? Many stumble on this kind of a road even a car shakes uncontrollably it can even make your skin itch after a certain distance. Simple answer is because my mind was at peace all things around me that usually appear destructive were no longer a threat, my mental and spiritual protective layers were up.  Internal peace one must fight for, its the only way life will come clearer before you, the only way courage will feel real so you can make fearful decisions that have haunted you all your life. Sometimes in life we think postponing time to take action in solving problems will make the problem to automatically solve itself to our desires but we fooling ourselves,  driving ourselves into unnecessary suffering.  What you keep running away from could possibly be what is good for you, you got to stop and come face to face with it and get it over with.

Some journeys we have to travel them alone even though you must know you are never entirely alone. There will always be someone along the way giving you advices and encouraging you to keep going. I came to a complete stop, looked up the sky and said " l am ready,  whatever it is you need me to do , l will provided l walk behind you". If people saw me now they would think l am insane and probably l had just decided to commit suicide. What came over my heart now was magical...it was content. Yes, l never expect people who have not heart the call that l received to understand the steps l take throughout my life, l am my own person and l walk differently. This gravel road has given me a direction. I turned around and went home. Truly l began this walk unaway l was to discover so much in me that l thought l had been lacking just cause l might have not held the spotlight on me long enough for fear that l might be titled too proud.

It is rare that the things that happen in your life do not build up to something,  everything leads somewhere. Even in your confusion state remember there is a complete picture in the mist of patiently walking.