Season of despair.

Have you ever passed through a season of despair? Where you have tried it all but nothing seems to work. You look at everyone next to you and they all seem to be moving but you stuck to the same ground you been in for years.

You begin to evaluate your faith, how often you pray and still find no concrete answer to why you are in such a hole with no one to pull you up.  It is hard, isn’t it? It is hard to be yourself with the whole world trying to project themselves into you. If you pleased them, then you are not happy. It is never a win, win situation.

I woke up in the middle of the night, made a cup of coffee with lots of milk, opened my window curtains and glanced outside to the sky. I saw so many beautiful stars and then it just hit me like a lightning, how beautiful stars come to own the sky at night.  A star may be created a star but it can never shine before the day is gone and the sky is in its perfect form to let its shine show. When the time is right it lets all its colours shine flawless. Now, it made me think why can’t l have patience like a star and wait for my sky to be perfect, because just like every zillion stars have their time so do l have my time and so do you.

We always feel the rush that time is working against us, that oh am 28 and l still don’t have a great relationship, l still don’t have a child, l don’t have a stable job, gosh l have ultimately failed but who told you when will you get certain things . You and l must stop deceiving ourselves, we may be alive but we do not control our lives, certainly not our future.

So l learned, among all things patience is important. Season of despair always comes knocking and when it knocks you shall feel it one way or the other. Many things in your life will not happen when you want them to and that’s just the way it is, if you try tempt with nature it naturally just destroys you and leave you with visible scars so you be reminded.

The story of our lives are written by God, we are mere actors doing our parts on his stage, now you can’t take a bow of appreciation in the middle of a play just cause the lines confuse you, you better stick it out till the final roll call. There are many seasons across your life time but the one of despair pulls out a mirror and forces you to look at a harsh reflection of yourself, count the scars, understand why they are there and most importantly leaves you grateful despair ever came.

I was a collection of a pair

Till destiny came, now am left tiny

In despair.

Four seas_on me,

Mercy has rewrote my season.